Mexico

Two nights with mama Aya
A fully embodied feminine
Fearlessly surrendered to my edge
The lioness in my chest roaring in joy

A shaman told me
if I wanted to be held
I had to open my heart
So, I did

I flew to Mexico
Drank from freshly fallen coconuts
Ate tortillas with sauce so spicy
I almost forgot my jetlag
I surfed sweet waves in a blue bathing suit
with white polka dots

Promises and skin on skin
My heart broke
It took my breath away
Shrivelled up my insides like when you suck in the air
of a small plastic bag
Then got stapled back together
on a trip through a lagoon
Five street dogs fought manically underneath the chair and table I was having dinner at
I felt my white plastic chair lift into the air
Turned around to see the young waiter’s face, droplets of sweat down his pallets
He saved me from the dogs

I got a mysterious infection
My bladder in burning agony
By belly pressing against my skin

I loved, I surrendered in a container that wasn’t safe
and I mourned
I purged, cried, trembled
Through the loneliness
To being alone

I will stroke myself
Hold myself with grace
back to the goddess that I am, exploding into a thousand pieces
making love to the God of us all

I opened my heart
and I learned
where to love myself
even deeper